How to Be a Good Parent
The Four Stages in
the Life of a Female
Our Mothers and Sisters Should take heed to the important stages in the
life of a female and how important it is to groom them as children, so that
they become responsible Muslim Women.
There are four stages in the life of a Female.
1. Her Childhood
2. Her reaching puberty
3. Her becoming a wife
4. Her becoming a mother
Here, we will discuss the first two stages.
During childhood, she is the beloved daughter of her parents. During this
stage, and as long as she has not reached puberty, there are no laws of
Shariah which she needs to follow.
In other words, there is nothing which is Fard (obligatory) upon her during
this time. She is not compelled to do anything during childhood. She lives
her life as a beloved daughter, eating, playing and enjoying these years of
It is during these years, that it is the responsibility of her parents, brothers
and sisters and other family members, to be kind and compassionate
towards her. Please her and keep her content.
It is the responsibility of her family to care for her health, hygiene, clothing
and all her other needs as a child. She should always be kept happy and
When she commences talking, then it is the responsibility of the parents to
first teach her the name of Allah and His Rasool . She should be taught
how to read the Kalima and other simple things.
When she grows a little older, then she must be taught cleanliness and
hygiene. She must be taught respect and good manners, with great love
Parents should teach her good habits and more so they should instil in her
the dislike for bad habits and bad manners. When she is able to read
properly, then the first thing she should be taught, is to recite the Holy
When she grows a little older, she should be taught the proper method of
making Ghusl etc. and should always be reminded of cleanliness and
In everything she does, she must be taught proper Islamic behaviour and
When she reaches the age of seven, she should be taught to perform
Namaaz and other important Islamic actions. She should be put into the
habit of Islamic dressing from the age of seven. As she grows older, she
should be taught simple household chores, so that she will grow into a
responsible young lady. She must always be reminded of keeping the
company of pious and descent females, and should be kept away from rude
and indecent females. She should never be allowed to befriend girls who
would cause damage to her Islamic and moral duties. These are some of the
responsibilities of parents towards their daughters during their childhood.
If parents do not fulfil these responsibilities, then they are sinners and
worthy of the wrath of Allah. If parents fulfil these responsibilities, then
they shall be rewarded by Almighty Allah. Allah allow us to fulfil our duties
as devoted Muslim parents. Aameen
A Female after Reaching Puberty
When a female reaches puberty, then all the laws of Allah and His Most
Beloved Rasool now apply to her. She is now obligated to follow all the
laws of Islam (Shariat). It now becomes Fard (obligatory) upon her to pray
her Namaaz, keep fast in the month of Ramadaan etc.
It also becomes Fard upon her to act upon the laws of Shariah in regard to
Zakaat, Hajj etc. She is now responsible for adhering to her duties towards
Allah and His Most Beloved Rasool and her rights towards Allah’s
It now becomes Fard upon her to abstain from all major and minor sins,
since she is now responsible for her every action and will be treated in the
Court of Almighty Allah like all adults.
It also becomes necessary for her to respect and be obedient towards her
parents and elders, and serve them as Islam commands. She should learn
good habits and abstain from bad habits and wrongdoings.
She must live her life in accordance with the commands of Almighty Allah
and His Most Beloved Rasool , as a true and sincere Muslim, so that she
may become a respectable and pious woman.
She should adorn herself with good character by making patience,
generosity, kindness and hard work her prime qualities. She should learn
how to live in the company of her husband and children after marriage.
This, she should learn by asking her mother and other elderly women in
The importance of her learning the proper Islamic way of life and living in
this way is necessary, so that she may be respected in her family and in her
She should be aware of her actions and abstain from any action that will
render her a sinner in the Court of Allah, and an outcast in her respected
She should never abuse any of the wealth or belongings of her parents in
Never must she leave the home without the permission of her parents. She
should never be seen in the company of strange males (non-Mahram) as
this is forbidden and will be the cause of punishment and slander.
It is during this age, that a female must protect her integrity and respect
more than anything else. Muslims females should remember that once
they lose their respect and integrity, it can never be regained. This will
always be a stigma attached to your personality and the name of your
Never talk to men without reason, and never laugh and joke with men or
sit in their company as this leads to evil thoughts and the means to sinful
acts such as adultery and fornication.
She should abstain totally from reading books and magazines that have
articles which wrongly influence them and cause them to act contrary to
the Shariah. Never read romantic novels & books that influence affairs and
She should read the Holy Qur’an and Islamic books that make her a better
Muslim and a beloved servant in the Court of Allah and His Most Beloved
She should never frequent cinemas, night clubs and other places of
corruption. These places are for kufaar and not for those who are believing
men and believing women.
Remember! When you frequent places of corruption, you are acting against
the command of Allah and His Rasool and at the same time bringing
disgrace to yourself and your family.
Rather you go to places of religious benefit, like Meelad Shareef, Gyarhwee
Shareef, Khatams etc. These are places where Allah’s Mercy descends.
Never listen to those who say these blessed actions to be Bid’at and sinful.
Remain steadfast on the Path of the Ahle Sunnat Wal Jamaat (The Sunni
Path). Always read the Quran in abundance. Also read Tasbeeh-e-Faatima
for gaining blessings after all your Salaah and at night before going to bed;
Subhaan-Allah 33 times
Alhamdu-Lillah 33 times
Allahu Akbar 34 Times
Follow this up by reading the fourth Kalima (i.e. Kalima Tauheed)